Reviews

Movie Review: CELLPHONE

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN 02/23/2024
CELLPHONE movie poster | ©2024 Gravitas Ventures

Rating: Not Rated Stars: Whitney Rose Pynn, Justin Malik Jackson, Jared Noble, Isaac Versaw, Katherine Barber, Malcolm McDowell Writer: Rachel Sommer Director: Luke Sommer Distributor: Gravitas Ventures Release Date: February 13, 2024 (digital, VOD) CELLPHONE has great, creepy atmosphere and a secret weapon in the performance of Justin Malik Jackson. Jackson plays the very un-creepy (once we get to know him) Chris, a talkative fellow who’s got problems of his own, but is friendly toward new neighbor Wynne (Whitney Rose Pynn). We start by meeting a young couple in an isolated farmhouse. They are tensely checking their cellphones and affirm […]Read On »


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Movie Review: NO WAY UP

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN 02/16/2024
NO WAY UP movie poster | ©2024 RLJE Films

Rating: R Stars: Sophie McIntosh, Will Attenborough, Jeremias Amoore, Manuel Pacific, Grace Nettle, Phyllis Logan, Colm Meaney, James Carroll Jordan Writer: Andy Mayson Director: Claudio Fäh Distributor: RLJE Films Release Date: February 16, 2024 NO WAY UP manages to put a respectably straight face on its multi-disaster movie premise. First, there’s the airplane crash catastrophe, as a notably rickety jet blows on engine and plummets into the Pacific as it heads from LAX to Cabo San Lucas. Then we get a variation on THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. Yes, the plane does stay right-side up, but it gradually fills up with water […]Read On »


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Movie Review: MIDNIGHT PEEPSHOW

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN
MIDNIGHT PEEPSHOW movie poster | ©2024 Dark Star Pictures

Rating: Not Rated Stars: Richard Cotton, Sarah Diamond, Mark Hampton, Roisin Browne, David Wayman, Ocean M. Harris, Miki Davis, Jack Fairbank, Jamie Bacon, Derek Nelson, Chiara D’Anna, Ryan Oliva, Bethan Walker, Zach Galligan (voice), Melanie Thompson Writers: Airell Anthony Hayles & Jake West and Andy Edwards, concept by Airell Anthony Hayles Directors: Ludovica Musumeci, Airell Anthony Hayles, Andy Edwards, Jake West Distributor: Dark Star Pictures Release Date: February 13, 2024 (digital, DVD)  MIDNIGHT PEEPSHOW is quasi-anthology horror, with segments bound together more firmly than is usually the case. It also successfully straddles the line between the supernatural and mundane cruelty, […]Read On »


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Movie Review: LISA FRANKENSTEIN

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN 02/09/2024
LISA FRANKENSTEIN movie poster | ©2024 Focus Features

Rating: PG-13 Stars: Kathryn Newton, Cole Sprouse, Liza Soberano, Henry Eikenberry, Bryce Romero, Carla Gugino, Joe Chrest Writer: Diablo Cody Director: Zelda Williams Distributor: Focus Features Release Date: February 9, 2024 Just in time for Valentine’s Day, director Zelda Williams and writer Diablo Cody deliver the new period rom zom com LISA FRANKENSTEIN. After a delightful shadow puppet opening credit sequence that details the tragedy of nineteenth-century gentleman Frankenstein (Cole Sprouse) – not a scientist here, just a lovelorn musician – we get to our live-action story. It’s the ‘80s. Lisa Swallows (Kathryn Newton) is a teen traumatized by the […]Read On »


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Movie Review: OUT OF DARKNESS

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN
OUT OF DARKNESS movie poster | ©2024 Bleecker Street

Rating: R Stars: Safia Oakley-Green, Kit Young, Chuku Modu, Iola Evans, Arno Luning, Luna Mwezi, Rosebud Melarkey, Tyrell Mhlanga Writer: Ruth Greenberg, story by Andrew Cumming & Ruth Greenberg & Oliver Kassman Director: Andrew Cumming Distributor: Bleecker Street Release Date: February 9, 2024 OUT OF DARKNESS experiments with the definition of screen horror. It has murder and gore, as well as the titular darkness, but its ultimate goal is more social commentary than scares. Director Andrew Cumming and screenwriter Ruth Greenberg, working from a story they crafted with producer Oliver Kassman, have created something largely worthwhile, though probably not what […]Read On »


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Movie Review: ARGYLLE

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN 02/02/2024
ARGYLLE movie poster | ©2024 Universal Pictures/Apple+

Rating: R Stars: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Sofia Boutella, John Cena, Samuel L. Jackson Writer: Jason Fuchs Director: Matthew Vaughn Distributor: Universal Pictures/Apple+ Release Date: February 2, 2024 With more plot twists than a tartan has squares, ARGYLLE combines ROMANCING THE STONE with – well, let’s not completely give the game away. We’ll say it starts out as one of those movies where a woman author unexpectedly finds herself living out one of her novels. In ARGYLLE, writer Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) pens espionage tales rather than romance. This immediately raises our […]Read On »


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Movie Review: MILLER’S GIRL

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN 01/26/2024
MILLERS GIRL movie poster | ©2024 Lionsgate

Rating: R Stars: Martin Freeman, Jenna Ortega, Bashir Salahuddin, Gideon Adlon, Dagmara Dominczyk, Christine Adams Writer: Jade Halley Bartlett Director: Jade Halley Bartlett Distributor: Lionsgate Release Date: January 26, 2024 MILLER’S GIRL is narrated, a little, by Cairo Sweet (Jenna Ortega), who begins in voiceover with, “What is an adult? … I am eighteen, and entirely unremarkable.” The last part of this statement is arguably untrue, as we soon see. Estranged from her ever-traveling parents, Cairo lives alone in an isolated old mansion in Level Hill, Tennessee. She tells us that she is lonely, she reads a lot, and has […]Read On »


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Movie Review: CULT KILLER

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN
CULT KILLER movie poster | ©2024 Saban Films

Rating: R Stars: Alice Eve, Shelley Hennig, Antonio Banderas, Paul Reid, Olwen Fouéré, Nick Dunning, Matthew Tompkins Writer: Charles Burnley Director: Jon Keeyes Distributor: Saban Films Release Date: January 19, 2024 CULT KILLER has a title that’s misleading, given that there isn’t a cult as such. It’s otherwise a decent if somewhat self-conscious detective thriller set in Ireland. The film begins with an onscreen quote from Genghis Khan about vengeance that is borne out by the ensuing action. We see business of several kinds taking place in an Irish pub. It is here that Cassie Holt (Alice Eve) first meets […]Read On »


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Movie Review: THANKSGIVING

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN 01/19/2024
THANKSGIVING Blu-ray | ©2024 Sony/TriStar

Rating: R Stars: Patrick Dempsey, Nell Verlaque, Addison Rae, Jalen Thomas Brooks, Milo Manheim, Tomaso Sanelli, Gabriel Davenport, Jenna Warren, Ty Victor Olsson, Tim Dillon, Russell Yuen, Karen Cliche, Derek McGrath, Joe Delfin, Jeff Teravainen, Rick Hoffman, Gina Gershon Writer: Jeff Rendell, story by Eli Roth & Jeff Rendell Director: Eli Roth Distributor: Sony/TriStar Release Date: November 17, 2023 (theatrical); January 16, 2024 (digital); January 30, 2024 (DVD/Blu-ray) In the proud tradition of 2010’s MACHETE, 2011’s HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, and 2013’s MACHETE KILLS, THANKSGIVING is the latest actual movie to be based on the parody trailers in the middle […]Read On »


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Movie Review: HELLHOUNDS

By ABBIE BERNSTEIN
HELLHOUNDS movie poster | ©2024 Uncork’d Entertainment

Rating: Not Rated Stars: Nathaniel J. Burns, Eva Hamilton, Cameron Kotecki, Dana Kippel, Amelia Haberman, Tim Sauer, Anna Harr, Daniel Link, Angel Ruiz, Becky Jo Harris Writer: Robert Conway Director: Robert Conway Distributor: Uncork’d Entertainment Release Date: January 9, 2024 HELLHOUNDS is a low-budget werewolf movie with narrative ambitions that outstrip its scope. Writer/director Robert Conway has an epic tale in mind, but because resources are limited, a lot of it happens in expository dialogue. We open on a man (Daniel Link) choking out a young woman (Amelia Haberman) in the desert. Then we cut to bail bondswoman Mia (Dana […]Read On »


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