The Dork Side: This is a Charlie Sheen-free zone

By SONIA MANSFIELD 03/03/2011
Charlie Sheen at the 2006 Summer CBS Party at the Television Critics | ©2006 Sue Schneider

For your reading pleasure, I present to you an entirely 100 percent Charlie Sheen-free column (well, except for the headling and the photo to the left). Don’t say I don’t ever do anything nice for you. And you’re welcome. ‘VOICE’ OF REASON Singer Christina Aguilera has signed on to be a judge on NBC’s AMERICAN IDOL rip-off THE VOICE. Considering she’s been spending most of her week in front of a judge, this is a big step up for Aguilera. This is great news for the contestants, too. Finally, someone can give them useful real-world advice about how to behave […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Let’s get ranty with the STARS, the Oscars, BEASTLY & more

By SONIA MANSFIELD 02/24/2011
BEASTLY movie poster | ©2011 CBS Films

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t limit my ranting to just one subject this week. There are just too many things that make me ranty. Dancing with the Polarizing Political Figures Professional witch-denier and all-around dummy Christine O’Donnell says she has been approached to be on ABC’s DANCING WITH THE STARS. In a related story, I’m going to file a class action suit against ABC for claiming that this show features stars. Christine O’Donnell? Really? What, you couldn’t get Michael Vick? ABC, have you thought about asking Ben Roethlisberger? If you are lucky, he might even rape one of your dancers. […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Why does everyone love Charlie Sheen?

By SONIA MANSFIELD 02/17/2011
Charlie Sheen in TWO AND A HALF MEN | ©2009 CBS

Charlie Sheen is a douche, and I don’t really care if he gets help. Yeah, I said it. I find it disturbing that this country is so willing to embrace the drug-fueled antics of a thrice-divorced, woman abusing, alcohol and drug addict, while at the same time show almost no sympathy for a young woman, raised by jacked-up, addict parents with dollar signs in their eyes. Seriously, in some ways, Lindsay Lohan never had a chance. Look, now don’t get me wrong, I’m no Lindsay fan. Still, I’m curious as to why Charlie Sheen gets a free pass and Lindsay […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: TV Quotables for Everyday Life

By SONIA MANSFIELD 02/10/2011
THE SIMPSONS - Season 22 - The 21st Annual TREEHOUSE OF HORROR | ©2011 Fox

“D’oh!” I say “D’oh” multiple times a day, every day. I say it when I drop something. I say it when I hurt myself. I say it when I’ve done something stupid. I say it when someone else drops something or tells me a story about something stupid they did. Sometimes I say it when I hear a sad story, saying softly, “Oh, d’oh,” with a sympathetic look. After years of watching THE SIMPSONS, it is burned in my brain. I’m sure the first time I said it, I thought about it and said it to make someone laugh. Now, […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: A FESTIVUS for the rest of us

By SONIA MANSFIELD 12/09/2010
JERSEY SHORE | ©2010 MTV

I don’t really celebrate Christmas. I’m not a Grinch or anything. I’m just more a Festivus girl. If you don’t know what Festivus is then … wait, really? You don’t know what Festivus is? If you don’t know then you probably don’t have Internet and you are probably not reading this so I will move along. I have put up my Festivus pole, and I plan to wrestle with the head of the household for the feats of strength. The head of our household is our wiener dog, Homer, so that shouldn’t be too hard. But my favorite part of […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: To be or not to 3-D?

By SONIA MANSFIELD 12/02/2010
AVATAR - IMAX movie poster | © 2009 20th Century Fox

I blame AVATAR for this whole thing. AVATAR, you owe the world an apology. You came out last year with the most amazing 3-D and now every crapsterpiece movie that comes out is in 3-D. Sure, there were movies that did 3-D before AVATAR, and some of them did it well (CORALINE). But ever since AVATAR the movie studios have started releasing even more movies in 3-D hoping to capture some of those unobtainum dollars. But, really, none of those movies put in the time, effort and money to look as great as the 3-D in AVATAR did. Don’t believe […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Bristol Palin RUINS America

By SONIA MANSFIELD 11/23/2010
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas on DANCING WITH THE STARS (11-22-10) |© ABC/Adam Larkey

Welcome to ASSIGNMENT X’s newest weekly column THE DORK SIDE written by Sonia Mansfield, which will tackle all things geek from a humorous perspective. Apparently, if Bristol Palin wins DANCING WITH THE STARS then the terrorists have won. That’s the impression I’m getting from all the media coverage anyway. There are a lot of things I don’t care about. My top 3 right now are JERSEY SHORE, 3-D movies and DANCING WITH THE STARS. Yeah, I said it. I don’t care about DANCING WITH THE STARS. Make sure to report me to the Pop Culture Police. I really don’t care. […]Read On »


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